If you were gay
by Kiui kisu
Summary: Gin Ichimaru is up to his crazy antics again and this time, he might have gone to far. Just a one-shot crack fic.


Flipping through the worn out pages, Aizen ran a hand through his brunette locks. Sighing, he shifted his chocolate gaze out into the vast empty room. Content with the silence he had been graced with. Turning his attention back to his book, he smiled from the comfortable silence.

"Aah, An afternoon alone with my favorite book, 'Tea Bag Folding.' And no silly co-commander to bother me. How much better can this get?"

A door slamming sounded through out the room, catching Aizen's attention. Looking up, he huffed in annoyance, staring at the silver haired prankster.

"Oh, Hi Aizen!" Gin grinned, casually up at him, hand up in the air waving.

"Hi Gin.." Aizen tried getting back into his book, not wanting to hear anything from Gin at this time of day.

"Hey Aizen, you'll never guess what happened to me in the hallway this morning! Uliquiorra was smiling at me, and talking to me-" Gin grinned during his story, still grinning although Aizen interrupted.

"Oh, that's, very interesting."

"Well he was being really friendly, and I think he was coming on to me. And I think he might've thought, I was, gay!" Gin let out a small snicker, gazing his slanted eyes towards his brunette companion.

"Ahem...So why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care." Aizen looked up from his book, anger clearly etched across his face. "What did you have for lunch today, Gin?" Grimacing, Aizen quickly tried to change the subject.

"Oh, you don't have to get so defensive Sousuke..." Gin's grin drooped downwards.

"I am NOT getting defensive!"Aizen's normally calm voice raised into a yell. "Why would I care about you meeting that gay fourth espada, okay? I am trying to read, Gin." Aizen shifted his book, showing his guest that he most certainly was trying to read. Grin growing back across his face, Gin walked closer to Aizen's throne.

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it. I just think that it's something that we should be able to talk about."

"I don't want to talk about it. Gin! This conversation is over!!!" Aizen's calm aura disappeared, replaced by complete annoyance.

"Okay, but-"

"OVER!!!!!"

"Okay, but just so you'd know....." Gin snickered as a strange music filled the room "If you were gay, that'd be okay. I mean 'cause, hey! I'd like you anyways, because you see, if it were me, I'd feel free to say that I was gay; but I'm not gay!" Gin's sing song voice echoed throughout the halls of Hueco Mundo. As the music continued, Aizen growled uncharacteristically.

"Gin! I am trying to read....What?!"

"If you were queer-"

"Gin!!"

"I'd still be here-"

"Gin! Please! I am trying to read..."

"Year after year! Because you're dear to me!"

"Argh!"

"And I know that you, would except me too-"

"Why would you even think that?!"

"If I told you today, 'Hey guess what! I'm gay,' but I'm not gay." Gin's grin only grew as his song continued, gaining the attention of all ten espada, along with most of their fraccion. The fox faced man had appeared behind Aizen's throne, messing with his companion's hair. "I'm happy just being with you!"

"Think happy thoughts.....Kaname, Save me!" Aizen yelped from his seat as the silver haired man carried out his strange antics.

"So what should it matter what you do in bed with guys!"

"Oh Gin! Thats GROSS!"

"No its not," Gin's song had now gained him four backup singers, Ulquiorra, Szayel, Nnoitra, and Yammi.

"If you were gay, we'd shout 'HOORAY!" The four new singers choired together, huge comical hearts popping from their eyes. Aizen gagged at the scene before him, his prized espada army were a bunch of fruitcakes. Hands flying up, Aizen covered his ears in hopes of no longer hearing anything.

"I'm not listening!"

"And here I'd stay" Gin cut in.

"La-la-la-la!" Aizen tried distracting himself.

"But I wouldn't get in your way!"

"Ahh!! You are in my way!"

"You can count on us to always be, beside you everyday, to tell you its okay. You were just thought up that way, and as they say, its in your DNA. YOU'RE GAY!!" All five singers had their hands raised, shaking them around.

"BUT I'M NOT GAY!" Aizen's hands were balled into fists as he heard the music calming down.

"If you were gay," Gin winked as the music halted suddenly. Grin in place, the silver haired man made his way out of the room. Quickly, everybody followed suit, afraid of their brunette commander, although the blinded man stayed behind.

"Why on earth did we have to bring him along?" Aizen threw his hands up to his face, clenching it in pain.

"I was thinking the same thing. Could we just get rid of him?" Kaname asked from where he had been standing near the door.

"Nah, just let him be. Now come on, I've got this major headache from such nonsense." Aizen's anger vanished, a wicked grin growing across his face. "Why don't you calm me down with those hands of justice."


End file.
